Samantha Jones

I was watching Sex and the City 2 the other night, mainly because there was nothing else to watch and partly because I like to indulge in frivolity as often as I can. Considering that I aim to make a living off my writing, I surprised myself by coveting Carrie Bradshaw's superficially perfect fictional life. But even more than her life I realized I really really wanted her superficially perfect fictional best friend. It dawned on me that if I actually had a Samantha Jones to spice things up a bit (or a lot), I could have a superficially perfect non-fictional life.

If I'm to write a bestselling book or two, I'll need an influential PR person to spread the word in the right places. My Samantha Jones could definitely make this happen (and for free at that). She would project me into the ton (too much Georgette Heyer!) so to speak, because I am fabulous and I ought to be heard (or more appropriately, I ought to be read).

Having used one of my favourite pompous adjectives for myself, I'd like to add a disclaimer that I just want my name to be famous, not my face. I could be extremely comfy in my star-spangled pyjamas (at home) while she could represent me in Timbuktu (if need be!) in her fancy hats, skimpy dresses and stripper heels.

Now aside from business, there's plenty of other things she would gladly do for me (because that's what best friends do). She would, of course, fill up my closets with amazing clothes, most of which I wouldn't want to be caught dead in. She would also fill my shoe rack up with flip flops and ballerina flats, one for each day of the next 10 years; same with lingerie. It has just occurred to me that not too many people are going to see these because I'm going to be lounging at home, enjoying my superficially perfect non-fictional life.

It's always great to have someone who says and does outrageously shocking things. My Samantha Jones would do just that. Every time I'd open my mouth to say something, she'd reply with a verbal slap in my face. Actually I do have a friend who does that, but sadly she isn't a PR personnel, so she doesn't qualify.

My Samantha Jones would not only be immensely generous and acidic, she would also be ridiculously influential. She would fuel my holiday dreams by taking me on fully sponsored trips to exotic locations, because unimaginable influence. I would gladly pack my star-spangled pyjamas up and shift my lounging to exotic hotels where I would be fawned over for free.

Okay, so much for this superficially perfect non-fictional friend based on a superficially perfect fictional character. I don't see this person materializing anytime soon (or even in this lifetime), to be honest. But if she does, I'll make sure I add an update here and post pictures from our many holidays on Instagram.

- S for Samantha Jones (My A to Z Challenge)